Pictures really are worth a thousand words...

For those not on Facebook, here are "public links" to all my photos from Europe. Enjoy!

Portugal

France

Barcelona

Italy

Austria

Prague

Paris

London

Goodbye Europe.

Today I say goodbye to Europe. At 3:50pm today I will board a non-stop flight back to San Diego (and get into San Diego at 7pm – isn’t that great!?). I thought long and hard about what to write for my last blog and still have yet to find a topic that sums up what this trip was to me. I’m struggling to find the words to describe how wonderful, adventurous, sometimes frustrating, and awakening it was. Part of me wants to never go back to San Diego – leave it all behind, start a new life here. Part of me can’t wait to see all my friends and family and go back to the normalcy of my San Diego life. Part of me wants to return and hide out for another couple weeks as I sort though the adjustments of being back from a 5-week trip of a lifetime. I’ll be honest, I’m thankful that I have a wedding in Temecula to go to, then a week of work to burry myself in, then a week-long trip to Reedley to escape to. Maybe by December 30^th when I return to San Diego, I’ll be ready to jump back into life, tell the same stories of Europe over and over, and find bliss in the simple joys of brewing my own coffee and having a closet to reach to for clothing and not a carry-on size suitcase. While life in Europe had it’s challenges – being away from anything familiar, living in close quarters with another person/people, getting lost, and being cold - Europe offered something San Diego never can. Besides the obvious things like the vast amounts of history, culture, language, etc, what Europe offered me was the ability to be whomever I wanted. In San Diego, people have already made up their minds about me. I’m the type-A event planner, crafter, photographer that throws great dinner parties and is uptight about the dishes not being done. But what if that person isn’t really me at all? What if people formed those opinions and by some unconscious act, I started to play into who they decided I was? Do you find that you’ve done that? Have people formed an idea of who you are and by default, you’ve kind of fallen into that role? It’s as if, amongst our friends, we all have a part to play in this story of life. A character needed to be filled and while I wasn’t a perfect fit, I was the best person for that role. So there I was in San Diego – uptight, creative, and meek and continued to be that person because, well…that’s who I’m expected to be. The more people said I was type-A, the more I thought I had to be it, the more people said I was Martha Stuart, the more I had to be it, etc (all done subconsciously, of course). And then I came to Europe. My classmates knew little of who I was outside of school.  Maria knew me more, but who I am to her was what she knew from work, happy hours, and dinner parties. And to all the passer-byers and people in cafes and pubs we met, I was a stranger. In Europe, I could finally figure out and be who I really was. No role to fit into. So who am I? Well, I’m still working through that, but here’s what I’ve come up with:

I enjoy making lists and putting things on a calendar, but only because it will get lost in my mess of a head. (I have, quite possibly, the worst memory ever. I would forget everything if it wasn't written down.) My lists are an unorganized mess of words on paper. It’s not detailed, it’s not immaculate, and it’s not perfectly organized. My calendar is only color-coordinated because I like the pretty colors. Simple as that.

I enjoy a tidy place to fall asleep in at the end of the day, but only achieve that dream about once a week. Despite what people typically see when they come over, my apartment isn't clean all the time, the dishes can always wait another day, and the laundry will get done when I can get to it. If I wait too long, then the mess goes overboard and that’s when the crazy cleaning lady in me kicks in, but for the most part, I enjoy the slow pace of picking up dishes at the end of the night, tidying up a bit, but not stressing over whether everything is exactly put away or if there’s still a tea cup sitting on the kitchen table.

I think about details. A detailed person - you probably think you knew that about me. But maybe I mean it differently than you do. I think details are what makes and breaks a person’s experience at a party or what sets you apart from being a good friend and a great friend. But I don’t care too much about the details of a trip or what I’m doing next weekend. I'd actually prefer it if I could hold off on making a decision about Saturday night until Saturday night. I like the idea of changing my mind at the last minute due to the sudden desire to go dancing or the sudden desire to have a quiet night at home with a book, candle, and tea. If I throw a party for work or for myself, I like taking time to put effort into the little things. I’ll be the one to think of making personalized nametags for everyone’s wine glass.  I’ll be the one to think of an extra touch to make a guest’s walk from the parking lot to the venue a little more enjoyable. I like to make people feel good.  I like to learn my friends' favorites, remember something they said they’ve always wanted to do, etc so that when it comes time for a birthday present, I have the perfect thing for them. But other than that, I’m a lot less detailed that most of my friends/co-workers/family think I am. On vacation, I have no idea what we’re doing minute-by-minute and I like to keep it that way, I like to get lost, and I enjoy talking to people and getting to know the real city. In life, I trust that it will all work out and don’t really need to spend time over-analyzing why something happened (well, for the most part). I’d rather move on, close the books on it, and just enjoy my life.

I like being alone. I love my friends, I love hangouts, and I love entertaining people whether it be a movie night or fancy dinner, but I love being alone just as much. I think I got too reliant on a few people before I left and forgot how to be alone. I’m looking forward to going back and enjoying some much-needed alone time.

If you’re a good friend of mine, then you’re probably right about my love for photography, crafting, playing guitar, and singing. But I don’t do it enough. I think I spent too much time playing into this role of type-A-stress-case that I don't give myself time and permission to get lost in a project or song. That will have to change.

I really really really could careless about brand names. I mean…really. So to my friends who want me to go shopping for the latest {insert designer name here} or can’t wait for {insert well-known store name here} to open for the Christmas sales, sorry, that’s not my cup of tea. I don’t really like malls. In fact, they make my skin crawl.  I’d rather pick-up a few things at Target and get most of my fun clothing finds a small boutique in North Park or a thrift store in Hillcrest.

I’ve been told I always look put-together, which completely baffles me, because I really don’t put any effort into trying to be. I enjoy wearing things that I find attractive, but there’s usually not a whole lot of thought that goes into what I pick out. Sometimes it works and sometimes I walk out of the house and neighbors probably think, "what is she wearing?"  I don’t spend hours and hours getting ready. I can be up and out the door in 30 minutes. I don’t care to take much more time than that on myself. I think it’s a waste. I’d rather have extra time in the morning to read or sit with my coffee.  The “being put together” thing goes for my life in general. My car is usually a mess, I still don’t know how to use my MacBook, I struggle through every one of my business classes, I’m still trying to figure out this photography thing, I kinda suck at playing guitar, but I like the idea of looking like this artistic, creative, trendy person on the outside. I have you all fooled. I’m not any of that.

I’m more of an analyzer and an insightful watcher than people care to know about. I look at a door and don’t see it as a door. It’s a passageway into a home a life. It’s a beautiful photograph. It’s art. I find myself trying to explain some of my thoughts to people and just end up looking like a crazy person. So I’ve learned to keep it to myself. I’ve only met one other person who sees life through my lens. My friend Alina and I found that we have a different view of the world than most. It’s a blessing and a curse. Maybe I won’t try and hide that anymore. Maybe.

I like Christmas more than the average person, I love hot coffee on a cold day just as well as iced ones, I’m not going to “stand up for myself” just because you think I should, because I probably don’t care all that much, I just want to vent about it, I enjoy disappearing from the world just to spend the day in my room working on a décor project for my apartment, I don’t want you to know me (sad to say, I like the mystery of people not really knowing who I am, but that feeling of closeness once someone finally gets who you are), and I like to be goofy. Now there’s something people haven’t really seen. The only people who get to see this side is my parents and sister. The Lauren they know is loud, silly, goofy, arrogant, and often annoying. When I’m around friends, I always secretly want to dance around to a song, do a funny impression, or just plain let go! But I can’t. I’ve gotten one too many strange looks from people who supposedly “love me just the way I am”. Ha! When why don’t people love me when I’m doing my interpretive dance moves? I’m not sure this side of me will come out anytime soon, but maybe one day I’ll get the courage to just let go and not care about who’s watching.

There’s so much more to share, but time is running out. I’m headed to Heathrow soon (quite possibly the worst airport on earth) and then soon to San Diego!

With my last words, I will reiterate how grateful I am for this 5-week adventure through Europe. It was more than a trip. It was an experience of a lifetime. I'm am thankful...

...and sad to go. 

Still so far to go.

London is officially neck-in-neck with Paris for my favorite European city. Today we did something really touristy and took a hop-on-hop-off bus around the city. Yes, it totally gave us away as tourists, but this way we got to see the entire city in just a few hours. And tonight we saw a production of the Wizard of Oz, the musical. It was amazing! I love London for it's history, the music, the vibe, the theater, and most importantly, the accent. 

But today was more than just a good day. It was a learning experience. Today I realized that while I've discovered and learned so much about myself over the last five weeks, I still have so far to go. I thought I was more mature, able to handle the curve balls of life a little more eloquently, and certainly able to let things roll off my back a little more. I was proved wrong. So wrong. Without going into detail, let's just say I lost my cool a little bit over email with a friend. I'm embarrassed, humbled, ashamed, and sorry. Clearly, I still have so far to go. 

And then there's more...

High expectations were had for this trip. Renewal. Revival. Rejuvenation. Along the way, I’ve experienced all of these. I found rejuvenation in Portugal when the realization set in that for the next five weeks, I could leave my life in San Diego behind. I had time to enjoy my coffee a bit longer, freedom to laugh a little louder with friends, and the sense to just enjoy the Portuguese pastry without worry of calories (well, that last one is still something I can’t completely do, but I gave myself a little more freedom in Europe). I found revival in Paris. The busyness of the streets, the roar of the Metro, the lights of the Eiffel – I had found my happy place. All confidence and sense of self-worth flooded back into my heart. I never wanted to let Paris, or my newfound self, go. And then there’s renewal. All the bits of history, romance, lessons, experiences, sights, sounds, thoughts, and reflections have aided in my renewal.

So why is there a knot in my stomach I can’t ignore?

Because I’m utterly and wholly terrified to go home and lose all of this. I can hear my parents now (hi, mom and dad), “What do you mean, you’re afraid to lose your confidence? Didn’t I raise you to be a confident person?”  Yes, yes you did. But let’s be honest…the world sucks, the media sucks, mean people suck, and even nice people and your best friends can hurt you. And all of that left me as a fairly self-conscious, confident-lacking person.  To think that 5 weeks in Europe can bring a person back to their happy, carefree self is a quite a bit to ask for. But indeed, it brought me what I needed.  I only hope it’s enough to sustain me as I go back to reality in just a few days. I’m scared, nervous, anxious, and just plain overwhelmed that maybe this wasn’t enough. Maybe I’ll find myself depleted of the goodness I found here. Or maybe not. Maybe I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. Today proved otherwise, but maybe I am. Maybe my friends will be introduced to a new Lauren. Maybe people will notice a positive change. The best thing I can do for myself is to give it an honest try. I will go back to the U.S. with my restored soul and live life for me once again.

I’ll leave you with something I tell myself whenever I’m doing something I love. Photography, playing guitar, singing, crafting, writing…whenever I find time to do those things for me, the world goes away. "And then she was free…", I think. I’m having a friend sketch this phrase in French onto my guitar for me, as a reminder to keep doing what I love…for me and for no one else.

Et puis elle se sentait légère.

(It’s not an exact translation, because the word “free” in French means something different than to “be free”. The exact translation is “And then she felt lighter…”, but it’s the same idea.)

While I still have so far to go, I can't ignore how far I've come. Until today I was pretty free. Fairly confident. And mostly composed. I slipped up, but then again, I'm human. Tomorrow is a new day. And Thursday will be the ultimate test. Will Europe Lauren come back home with me? I think so. 

London

I officially love London. I'm not sure if my love for London surpasses my love for Paris, but I really do love this place.

For one, I never thought I'd appreciate the English language so much. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I heard it in full force again. Sure, everyone here speaks in an accent, but it's English and it's familiar and it's wonderful to the ears of someone who's heard Portuguese, French, Italian, Catalan, Spanish, and German for the last five weeks.

Second, it looks like a Harry Potter movie. The streets are full of red double-decker buses, we sat in on a Parliament meeting, and attended a service at the Westminster Abbey. It was a wonderful, Harry Potter inspired day.

I'm feeling renewed from the history of this place and the familiarity of it as well. It's a great feeling.

Just as a recap, we toured the Tower of London and the Crown Jewels (...beautiful and disgusting all at the same time. One of those crowns could have fed an entire nation. Ugh!). Then we attended a service at the Westminster Abbey. After that, we sat in on a Parliament meeting (seriously fascinating).  And finally, we follow a Rick Steve's self-guided walking tour to Trafalgar Square, dinner, and a Pub where we met some locals who taught us some British slang. Great day.  Can't wait to see what's in store tomorrow!

Sorry for the shortage in photos today. I have more, but at this point, the internet is much too slow to wait for the rest to upload to my blog. I promise more for the next one.

Big Ben

A true London Dinner: Fish, Chips, and Ale

Finally Giving My Thanks

Prague has been somewhat of a bust for Maria and I. It’s a beautiful city and it actually still ranks pretty high on my mental list of cities I’ve liked best, so far, but I will say that we’ve…um…struggled with this city. First, it’s freezing here. I mean, chilled to the bone, your lungs will freeze if you breathe in too deeply, holy moly it’s cold, freezing! Second, people aren’t exactly very friendly here. We’ve tried using the two words we know in Chezk (“hello” and “thank you”), but most Chezk people just seem quite annoyed that we’re in their city. Third, Maria’s had some pretty bad luck with her bank. Before we left, she had to close part of her card because someone was committing fraudulent activity on it, then the part of her card she was able to use stopped working because it didn’t match up with the symbols on any ATMs here, THEN she went to make a cash advance from her credit card and the ATM machine ate her card. Needless to say, Prague isn’t her favorite city right now. :-/ Fourth, both Maria and I just feel like we are unable to do a whole lot here. Maybe that’s a good thing though, because I’ve been able to rest, read, do homework, laundry, and other “life things”. But, we both wish we were able to do a little more. The sun sets around 4:30pm here and after that it’s almost too cold to do anything other than sit in a restaurant or a smoky pub. Today we attempted to go to the Prague Palace and it was entirely shut down because the Russian President was in town for a visit. They even closed the Barbie museum because it was in the same vicinity as the Palace! So here we are, hanging out in our HUGE apartment (it’s about 3x the size of my apartment in San Diego), just cozying up and enjoying the artificial warmth of the heater. I will say, though, I absolutely love that Prague is the perfect Christmas city! The cold, the lights, the trees…it’s exactly what I think a winter wonderland should look like!!!

On the bright side, I wanted to recognize a highlight that was brought to mind today. This morning, Maria and I walked across the bridge, up a hill, climbed many flights of stairs, and finally made it to the Palace just to find out it was closed. I could have been angry, and indeed, it was a little annoying, but then I looked down at my feet and became over-joyed with thanks for the fact that I was able to make that trek to the Palace, just to find out it was closed.

On August 1, I had knee surgery to fix damaged cartilage from snowboarding last season.  It was probably one of worst experiences of my life…and let me explain why. First, the timing could not have come at a worse time (ok, maybe it could have, but to me and to a lot of other people, the timing really really sucked - for lack of a more eloquent word). I was supposed to leave for Europe in 3 months and wasn’t fully convinced I would be healed by the time I boarded the plane. The toughest part was that it wasn’t like I severely injured myself a week prior and disparately needed surgery…immediately. I fell on my kneecap while snowboarding in March this year. I didn’t think I had actually done anything to my knee. Sure, it was crunchy and hurt all the time, but I continued to run on it and lived life pretty normally. Finally, the pain was too bad and people were getting really grossed out by the sounds and feelings coming from my knee. Long story short, I was told I would need knee surgery if I ever wanted to run again or do any sort of physical activity again. Um, ya…I’m 25…you think I’m just going to give up on running, swimming, yoga, surfing, snowboarding, hiking…I DON’T THINK SO! So then the decision had to be made. Surgery now or surgery after Europe? After some tears, talks, and thoughts, I decided that since I could barely walk up a flight of stairs at the time, it would be better to risk it and go through the surgery than to be in Europe with a kneecap with no cartilage.

Oh, but that wasn’t the “one of the worse experiences of my life” part I was talking about.

No, the surgery was a piece of cake!

It was the aftermath that was inches away from being more than I could bear.

Let’s just say that I was BEYOND frustrated with the fact that:

a)    I needed help. A lot of help. I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t cook, I couldn’t carry things (being on crutches makes it so you not only don’t have use of your bad leg, but you don’t have use of your 2 arms either), I couldn’t be functional if I had just taken pain meds. I was needy and helpless and I hated every second of it.

b)   I was able to do some things like stand on my leg when it was completely straight, but couldn’t do other things like bend it past 30 degrees when I was sitting. So basically, I could walk (as long as I kept my leg straight), but I couldn’t sit in a regular chair. I kept saying, “My body is tricking me! I stand and I think I’m healing quickly. Then I sit and I realize how far I still have to go.”

c)    From the outside, I looked like I was a lot better off than I was, and it was annoying as you-know-what to have people look at me and wonder why the heck I couldn’t carry-out more if my duties than I did during my time off.

So…was frustrated and a lot of other people were frustrated with the happenings of my knee surgery. The impact that my surgery had on me was bad enough, but then I had to take on the impact of other people’s frustration, annoyance, and ridicule and that just about did me in!

I first wrote this blog and had a big long explanation about how pictures only capture a moment in time, how you shouldn’t judge someone unless you’ve been in their shoes (or their knee brace), and how, if you’re going to judge anyone at all, you should judge their character as a whole, not one instance in their life. But then I realized that I don’t need to justify myself. I’m an honest person and I know how difficult my knee surgery was, even if others didn’t think it was all that bad. 

And now I know how appreciative I am for being able to walk up over 4,000 stairs and miles of hills. I’ve written more than one blog on this topic, because I am forever grateful to those who were there for me. To those who forced me to surrender to help. And to those who had empathy and not judgment.  I didn’t want to thank people, personally, for fear that I would leave someone out…but now I feel the time is right for me to say my thanks. I sincerely apologize I leave anyone out. It’s not intentional. It’s not that I don’t remember that you weren’t there. It’s just that it’s 12:00am, my time, and I’m a bit sleepy.

Ok, here it goes:

Nicole – Thank you for waking up ridiculously early, dealing with my misdirection to the surgery center, staying with me until I had to go under, and then being there for my recovery - movies and talks were what I needed. You were selfless and a wonderful friend!

Jeremy – Thank you for being my personal driver, chef, nurse, shoulder to cry on, friend, and everything. You saw pretty much every side of me…thanks for not running away.

Claudia – For all the rides, the crafts, the talks, and the friendship…thank you! I’ll never forget how my surgery brought us together as friends. I hope we have more Doritos and pool-side chats in the future!

Maria – Thanks for being one of the first people to come visit me. Your thoughtfulness, flowers, prayer, and warm thoughts did not go unnoticed!

Sara – Thank you for being my voice and my nurse! You sure know how to stand up for a friend. Thank you for the bed, the bedding, the care-taking, the talks, and the friendship. I love you dearly!

Jenn, Kenna, and Mama Kim – When I was at my very worse, you were at your very best. Thank you for giving up your one day off to take me away from it all (and for cleaning my apartment). You saved me from myself. Your beautiful hearts shinned so bright that day and I will forever be thankful!

John – Thank you for making a special effort to come visit me and for the beautiful flowers. I don’t care what anyone says…flowers always make a girl feel better!!! Thank you for your chivalry, kindness, and friendship.

Erin - Thank you for visiting me on your lunch break and for parting with your episodes of Bones for a whole (I need to get those back to you!). Your friendship and those DVDs were a lifesaver...seriously!  Love our friendship and YOU!

Emily - Thank you for your prayers, your willingness to stop by, and for the most delicious salad I've ever had. You are beautiful inside and out!

Dana - Thank you for coming by on multiple occasions and for getting me out of my apartment. We've shared so many experiences together and I'm so thankful for our friendship!!

Kara – Thank you for being my nurse outside of work. You were there to check-up on me and be my friend!

Callie – Thank you so much for being there the day after my surgery and for all the rides to church. You never hesitated to drive me and to listen to my heart during the process of my surgery. You are one of the most beautiful souls I know!

Jill and The Lane – Thank you for the lunch-time dates, the dinners at my place, and the frantic phone calls. I owe much of my sanity to you.

My Parents and Sister – I wasn’t able to see you at all, but yet I felt as though you were near. Thank you for the thoughts, the prayers, the flowers, and for dealing with my tears when things weren’t going so well. I’m blessed to have a family as amazing as all of you!

Marissa – Thank you for driving me to PT appointments and for going on a hunt for a swimsuit with me! I hope you know how much I appreciated your patience and friendship.

Brooke – Thanks for coming over to keep me company and watching one of my favorite movies of all time, “Once”. You were always there with an offer of friendship and help. I appreciated it more than you know!

Dash, Kristen, Molly, Nicolle, Matt, Joyce, Bri, Deron, Maria, Tasha, and the rest of my most amazing friends – Thank you for making a personal stop to come see me, for playing music with me, and for coming to my family dinner a week after my surgery. I needed friends more than I needed rest. Dash, I won’t forget the wine, beer, and candy. That’s the best present a girl can have when she’s stuck in bed! Thank you to all for your prayers, love, and support! I have the most amazing family in San Diego…Thank you!

If you know you helped me, stopped by for a visit, said a prayer, or were a friend during this time and I left you out, please tell me. Like I said, it wasn't intentional. Remind me and I will ABSOLUTELY update this list. I owe you my thanks and my gratitude!

With that, I leave you with some pictures from Prague…one of the most beautiful cities in the world!

Jewish Quater: Names on the wall of all the people who were sent to the gas chambers by the Nazis.  The walls never seemed to end. So many lives were lost. What a sobering day. 

Jewish Cemetery 

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Jewish_Cemetery,_Prague)  

Next Day: Crossing over the St. Charles Bridge

The City of Prague!

At the Monastery  

Breathtaking views! 

There's the St. Charles Bridge 

Headed to the Christmas Market  

The Happy Tourist and Her Few Nice Things.

It’s been almost three weeks since I’ve been in Europe and I can honestly say that it feels like I left San Diego a lifetime ago. Not for bad reasons, but I’ve just been doing SO many things that one day feels like 5.  So really it’s like I’ve been here for about 3 months instead of 3 weeks! And today is the beginning of a new country and a new adventure. Maria and I are currently on a train to Prague (but by the time I get internet to post this, we’ll already be checked into our hotel). I’m most curious about this country. It’s the most foreign to me and sounds the most beautiful. It will be interesting to see what Prague is really like, how we get around without knowing a single word of their language, and what cultural norms we should practice while we’re here.

Speaking of cultural norms….

I’ve tried really really hard to be a good American tourist. The last thing I want is to be remembered by the shop owner or the restaurant staff as the “dumb American”. I’ve read up on etiquette and do my best to respect each culture I come into. But…I’ve found that sometimes I’m just too excited to “play it cool”.  I’m about to go off on another one of my tangents again…ready? Happiness brings me greater happiness.  It grows exponentially. And the same with negativity. Once you’re in a bad state of mind, coming out of it is nearly impossible. In my 25 years of life, I’ve been through good times and bad. There were definitely moments, looking back, when I genuinely was allowed to be sad. It’s ok to give yourself permission to go through those tough times. Life is hard. Embrace the struggles. Grieve the losses. Journey through the sadness. And then find your way back to a happy place. But sometimes it’s really hard to find your way back to that happiness even when the rough times are over. We get comfortable feeling bad for ourselves. I know I do. And then it hit me….happiness is really really fun. Not fake happiness, because if you are going through something right now, the last thing you should do it force yourself to be happy and ignore the real feelings. But authentic happiness is incredibly enjoyable. And how do I find my happiness? In the little things, that’s how. Cute bicycles with a basket of flowers. The smell of freshly baked cookies. A hardy, make your eyes water, laugh with a friend. The movement of the clouds. The energy of the Metro system. Getting the perfect shot with my camera. Good music. Trees. Freshly roasted coffee.  These are a few of my favorite things (I just did a Sound of Music tour, I had to throw that last part in!). That is my happiness and no matter how silly I look appreciating the little things, I’m going to continue to do it. Here’s where I come back to where I left you for that tangent. Cultural norms or no cultural norms, I’m going to continue to do the things that make me happy (within reason). I will probably look more like a tourist and a dumb America, but I’m ok with that. I want to stop, literally stop, and smell the roses. I want to take 100 pictures. I want to sing as I’m walking down the street or standing on the Metro. If I want to skip, I’ll skip. If I want to dance, I’ll dance. If I want to make random comments about how much I love everything, I’ll keep talking to myself even if no one is listening. I’m going to be considerate of others and difference cultural norms, but no matter how silly, dumb, or random I look, I will continue to be a happy tourist and a happy person. What makes you happy? What can you do that brings you back to a happy place after tough roads?

This happy tourist has been traveling with nothing but a carry-on suitcase and a duffle bag. 5 weeks in two bags small-ish…it can be done! Before leaving for Europe I was completely and utterly disgusted with the amount of clutter in my life. I distinctly remember sitting in my room looking at my over-stuffed closet and dresser and being overwhelmed by the “stuff” in my life. I made a promise to myself that after returning to San Diego from my post-Europe holiday travels home, I would completely ransack my apartment and give away everything I don’t need. I’m even more convinced this is what I need/want to do when I return. I have but 5 outfits to choose from on this trip. My shoe selection is extremely limited. I have one heavy jacket I wear everyday to keep the cold Europe frost from touching my skin. And you know what…I love it. Life is simple this way. I don’t intend to go over-board with this process. I’m not suddenly going to sell all my worldly possessions and walk around in a potato sack, but I do want to downsize.  Nice, business attire is needed for work and comfortable clothing is needed for play. Photos and meaningful decorations are needed in my apartment to make it feel like home. But let’s be serious, no one needs 19 pairs of jeans, 32 dressed, 74 shirts, or whatever is actually in my closet!

So this happy tourist is going to continue to stop and smell the roses in one of the 5 outfits I brought along with me. And when I return, I intent to keep singing, keep smiling, keep wandering off the beaten path…just with a few less things to weigh me down. 

On the train headed to Salzburg!

Christmas Market!

While waiting for the Sound of Music Tour to start, Maria and I decided to do a photoshoot on this tree. 

So cheesy and I loved every second of it!

They served beer on the tour bus...probably for all the boyfriends and husbands that were forced to go for their significant other. I took advantage of it and bought one for 1.5 Euro!  I mean, how often are you allowed to drink on a bus!?

"I am 16 going on 17..."

We saw BEAUTIFUL scenery!

It was dark by the time we got to the fountain in the movie, but I still wanted to take a picture with it!

I loved the tour! The movie is sooo good and all of it reminded me of our production of The Sound of Music in High School. I was Liesel (the oldest daughter). I miss those days of singing and dancing in musical theater. Hmmm...I may have just been inspired to get back into it. Well, maybe when my MBA program is over I'll audition for something again...

A dying language.

Another great day in Vienna! We toured a palace, walked up to the top of St. Stephen’s church, did a Rick Steve’s self-guided walking tour, ate some cake, shopped the local Christmas market, and had an Austrian beer to close out the day. We only had one full day in Vienna, so we had to make the most of our time. Tomorrow we leave bright and early for Salzburg. Maria and I are both so excited for our Sound of Music tour. Last night we watched the Sound of Music and sang to all the songs together. It was wonderfully cheesy and I loved every minute of it!

At the end of the day today, Maria and I were on the metro back to our apartment and I was watching this little boy (about 2 or 3) and his mom interact. They had just come from the same Christmas market we were at and the little boy was completely enthralled with his Spiderman balloon and his balloon sword (2 balloon items – lucky kid!). His mom handed him his balloon sword and he was having a ball swinging it around and investigating the intricate detail of how the thing was put together (kid, I’m 25 and I still can’t figure out those things!). After a few swings he suddenly got his balloon sword caught up in the string of his Spiderman balloon. He tugged and tugged and tugged but could not get his sword lose. He got frustrated, annoyed, a little upset, and tugged some more. His motions got more furious and careless as the balloon continued to stay tangled up. As an observer, I could easily see that if he had just stopped for a second to analyze the situation, it would have taken but one turn in the right direction to free the balloon sword from the web of Spiderman. Finally, the boy was able to free his balloon, but not without headache and force. Sound familiar? How often do we continuously try to tug and tug and tug at difficult things in life to make a change, but just end up getting more frustrated with life because nothing seems to be working? If only we tried a little harder, right? Wrong. 

I do it all the time. Sometimes the best thing we can do is let go and ask for help. Sigh…help. It’s a four-letter word for me. I hate asking for help. I feel a little hypocritical, because just a few blog posts ago I wrote about how I need to not ask for opinions and advice as much, but need to rely on my own thoughts a little more. This is so so true. It’s so important to never lose yourself. Never let one person or a group of people be your mind and your heart. You were given one of your own for a reason. And yet, when your mind and your heart are telling you lies or something is too big for you to handle, that four-little word can be your saving grace.

Another thought came to mind as well. Bare with me as I go off on this tangent…I promise I’ll tie it altogether. Affirmation. I am a firm believer in sharing words of affirmation with people. No, it’s not my love language, but I think it’s a dying language. My guess is people a) are too embarrassed to “get real” with friends and tell them how great they are, b) have a hard time doling out compliments because they never received them (or received them too often and now it doesn’t mean anything), or c) …well, I’m not sure, but I know there are many more reasons why compliments aren’t shared. But I am here to advocate that we change this! If you think someone is awesome, you should tell them. If you think someone is talented, you should tell them. If you enjoy someone’s company, you should tell them. If you like someone’s outfit, you should tell them. If you enjoyed a conversation with someone, you should tell them. You get the idea. I’m not talking about commenting on someone’s facebook photo (although, those are all good things). I’m talking about personal, one-on-one complements. Email someone a personal email. Pick up the phone and call them and tell them how great they are. Say it to their face the next time you see them.  It’s amazing what a little compliment can do for someone. Brighten someone’s day. Share a compliment. Share love….authentic, genuine love.

Ok, now time to tie it altogether. I got a short, but out-of-the-blue sweet sweet email from a friend complimenting me on a few things I’m typically most insecure about. Usually I try and fight those insecurities on my own, like the little boy and his battle of the balloons. But today I got some help. Thanks to a random act of affirmation, I surrendered, accepted the compliment, and it made my day. It was a little thing, but getting help doesn’t have to be big. And sharing a compliment doesn’t have to be a grand gesture either. Just try it.  And try asking for help. There may be an observer close by who can clearly see the direction to take. Or maybe not. But at least you have someone to share in the misery of untangling whatever balloon sword drama life has thrown your way.

Here’s to compliments and asking for help!

Enjoy the photos!

Cappuccino with breakfast!

Outside the Palace

 View from the top of St. Stephen's church. Kinda lame, but you get the idea. 

On our Rick Steve's self-guided walking tour!

A stop for Apple Strudel 

The Christmas Market!

An Austrian beer to close out the day!

Maria was reading through the Rick Steve's book about Salzburg. His directions told us to turn on "Dreifaltigkeitsgasse" street to get to our tour.  Could there be any more letters in this word!!!??