Renewed: a la Europe: Finally Giving My Thanks

Prague has been somewhat of a bust for Maria and I. It’s a beautiful city and it actually still ranks pretty high on my mental list of cities I’ve liked best, so far, but I will say that we’ve…um…struggled with this city. First, it’s freezing here. I mean, chilled to the bone, your lungs will freeze if you breathe in too deeply, holy moly it’s cold, freezing! Second, people aren’t exactly very friendly here. We’ve tried using the two words we know in Chezk (“hello” and “thank you”), but most Chezk people just seem quite annoyed that we’re in their city. Third, Maria’s had some pretty bad luck with her bank. Before we left, she had to close part of her card because someone was committing fraudulent activity on it, then the part of her card she was able to use stopped working because it didn’t match up with the symbols on any ATMs here, THEN she went to make a cash advance from her credit card and the ATM machine ate her card. Needless to say, Prague isn’t her favorite city right now. :-/ Fourth, both Maria and I just feel like we are unable to do a whole lot here. Maybe that’s a good thing though, because I’ve been able to rest, read, do homework, laundry, and other “life things”. But, we both wish we were able to do a little more. The sun sets around 4:30pm here and after that it’s almost too cold to do anything other than sit in a restaurant or a smoky pub. Today we attempted to go to the Prague Palace and it was entirely shut down because the Russian President was in town for a visit. They even closed the Barbie museum because it was in the same vicinity as the Palace! So here we are, hanging out in our HUGE apartment (it’s about 3x the size of my apartment in San Diego), just cozying up and enjoying the artificial warmth of the heater. I will say, though, I absolutely love that Prague is the perfect Christmas city! The cold, the lights, the trees…it’s exactly what I think a winter wonderland should look like!!!

On the bright side, I wanted to recognize a highlight that was brought to mind today. This morning, Maria and I walked across the bridge, up a hill, climbed many flights of stairs, and finally made it to the Palace just to find out it was closed. I could have been angry, and indeed, it was a little annoying, but then I looked down at my feet and became over-joyed with thanks for the fact that I was able to make that trek to the Palace, just to find out it was closed.

On August 1, I had knee surgery to fix damaged cartilage from snowboarding last season. It was probably one of worst experiences of my life…and let me explain why. First, the timing could not have come at a worse time (ok, maybe it could have, but to me and to a lot of other people, the timing really really sucked - for lack of a more eloquent word). I was supposed to leave for Europe in 3 months and wasn’t fully convinced I would be healed by the time I boarded the plane. The toughest part was that it wasn’t like I severely injured myself a week prior and disparately needed surgery…immediately. I fell on my kneecap while snowboarding in March this year. I didn’t think I had actually done anything to my knee. Sure, it was crunchy and hurt all the time, but I continued to run on it and lived life pretty normally. Finally, the pain was too bad and people were getting really grossed out by the sounds and feelings coming from my knee. Long story short, I was told I would need knee surgery if I ever wanted to run again or do any sort of physical activity again. Um, ya…I’m 25…you think I’m just going to give up on running, swimming, yoga, surfing, snowboarding, hiking…I DON’T THINK SO! So then the decision had to be made. Surgery now or surgery after Europe? After some tears, talks, and thoughts, I decided that since I could barely walk up a flight of stairs at the time, it would be better to risk it and go through the surgery than to be in Europe with a kneecap with no cartilage.

Oh, but that wasn’t the “one of the worse experiences of my life” part I was talking about.

No, the surgery was a piece of cake!

It was the aftermath that was inches away from being more than I could bear.

Let’s just say that I was BEYOND frustrated with the fact that:

a) I needed help. A lot of help. I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t cook, I couldn’t carry things (being on crutches makes it so you not only don’t have use of your bad leg, but you don’t have use of your 2 arms either), I couldn’t be functional if I had just taken pain meds. I was needy and helpless and I hated every second of it.

b) I was able to do some things like stand on my leg when it was completely straight, but couldn’t do other things like bend it past 30 degrees when I was sitting. So basically, I could walk (as long as I kept my leg straight), but I couldn’t sit in a regular chair. I kept saying, “My body is tricking me! I stand and I think I’m healing quickly. Then I sit and I realize how far I still have to go.”

c) From the outside, I looked like I was a lot better off than I was, and it was annoying as you-know-what to have people look at me and wonder why the heck I couldn’t carry-out more if my duties than I did during my time off.

So…was frustrated and a lot of other people were frustrated with the happenings of my knee surgery. The impact that my surgery had on me was bad enough, but then I had to take on the impact of other people’s frustration, annoyance, and ridicule and that just about did me in!

I first wrote this blog and had a big long explanation about how pictures only capture a moment in time, how you shouldn’t judge someone unless you’ve been in their shoes (or their knee brace), and how, if you’re going to judge anyone at all, you should judge their character as a whole, not one instance in their life. But then I realized that I don’t need to justify myself. I’m an honest person and I know how difficult my knee surgery was, even if others didn’t think it was all that bad.

And now I know how appreciative I am for being able to walk up over 4,000 stairs and miles of hills. I’ve written more than one blog on this topic, because I am forever grateful to those who were there for me. To those who forced me to surrender to help. And to those who had empathy and not judgment. I didn’t want to thank people, personally, for fear that I would leave someone out…but now I feel the time is right for me to say my thanks. I sincerely apologize I leave anyone out. It’s not intentional. It’s not that I don’t remember that you weren’t there. It’s just that it’s 12:00am, my time, and I’m a bit sleepy.

Ok, here it goes:

Nicole – Thank you for waking up ridiculously early, dealing with my misdirection to the surgery center, staying with me until I had to go under, and then being there for my recovery - movies and talks were what I needed. You were selfless and a wonderful friend!

Jeremy – Thank you for being my personal driver, chef, nurse, shoulder to cry on, friend, and everything. You saw pretty much every side of me…thanks for not running away.

Claudia – For all the rides, the crafts, the talks, and the friendship…thank you! I’ll never forget how my surgery brought us together as friends. I hope we have more Doritos and pool-side chats in the future!

Maria – Thanks for being one of the first people to come visit me. Your thoughtfulness, flowers, prayer, and warm thoughts did not go unnoticed!

Sara – Thank you for being my voice and my nurse! You sure know how to stand up for a friend. Thank you for the bed, the bedding, the care-taking, the talks, and the friendship. I love you dearly!

Jenn, Kenna, and Mama Kim – When I was at my very worse, you were at your very best. Thank you for giving up your one day off to take me away from it all (and for cleaning my apartment). You saved me from myself. Your beautiful hearts shinned so bright that day and I will forever be thankful!

John – Thank you for making a special effort to come visit me and for the beautiful flowers. I don’t care what anyone says…flowers always make a girl feel better!!! Thank you for your chivalry, kindness, and friendship.

Erin - Thank you for visiting me on your lunch break and for parting with your episodes of Bones for a whole (I need to get those back to you!). Your friendship and those DVDs were a lifesaver...seriously! Love our friendship and YOU!

Emily - Thank you for your prayers, your willingness to stop by, and for the most delicious salad I've ever had. You are beautiful inside and out!

Dana - Thank you for coming by on multiple occasions and for getting me out of my apartment. We've shared so many experiences together and I'm so thankful for our friendship!!

Kara – Thank you for being my nurse outside of work. You were there to check-up on me and be my friend!

Callie – Thank you so much for being there the day after my surgery and for all the rides to church. You never hesitated to drive me and to listen to my heart during the process of my surgery. You are one of the most beautiful souls I know!

Jill and The Lane – Thank you for the lunch-time dates, the dinners at my place, and the frantic phone calls. I owe much of my sanity to you.

My Parents and Sister – I wasn’t able to see you at all, but yet I felt as though you were near. Thank you for the thoughts, the prayers, the flowers, and for dealing with my tears when things weren’t going so well. I’m blessed to have a family as amazing as all of you!

Marissa – Thank you for driving me to PT appointments and for going on a hunt for a swimsuit with me! I hope you know how much I appreciated your patience and friendship.

Brooke – Thanks for coming over to keep me company and watching one of my favorite movies of all time, “Once”. You were always there with an offer of friendship and help. I appreciated it more than you know!

Dash, Kristen, Molly, Nicolle, Matt, Joyce, Bri, Deron, Maria, Tasha, and the rest of my most amazing friends – Thank you for making a personal stop to come see me, for playing music with me, and for coming to my family dinner a week after my surgery. I needed friends more than I needed rest. Dash, I won’t forget the wine, beer, and candy. That’s the best present a girl can have when she’s stuck in bed! Thank you to all for your prayers, love, and support! I have the most amazing family in San Diego…Thank you!

If you know you helped me, stopped by for a visit, said a prayer, or were a friend during this time and I left you out, please tell me. Like I said, it wasn't intentional. Remind me and I will ABSOLUTELY update this list. I owe you my thanks and my gratitude!

With that, I leave you with some pictures from Prague…one of the most beautiful cities in the world!

Jewish Quater: Names on the wall of all the people who were sent to the gas chambers by the Nazis. The walls never seemed to end. So many lives were lost. What a sobering day.